Next Monday, January 11th, 2009, I start grad school. Scary. I'm excited, but at the same time very nervous. Going to a new school and socializing with new people scares me. I get a lot of anxiety in social situations and am perfectly happy to be at home with My Love and our kitty. I get social interaction through the Internet and through hand written pen palling letters. For me, that works great. I don't get panic attacks from getting the mail, blogging, or tweeting.
The second thing I'm worried about are seizures. I don't drive so I have to depend on Jim to drive me, which isn't a big problem unless he got sick. What if I have a seizure at school, though? I guess in the two years it will take me to get my degree it is very likely that I'll have a seizure. I mean it's just the law of probabilities. So...that adds to my anxiety.
The third thing I'm worried about are pain issues/mobility issues. I'd feel a lot better if I could pick out a cane to use. The geneticist said that I it would hurt me in the long run, but I think he's wrong. However, I could never get anyone to believe that I know better about my body than a doctor who met me once, and I don't want to hear about how I'm just putting myself in a wheelchair or "giving up," or whatever...so I don't know. Sigh. Seriously I don't know what to do. When I can't walk I'm supposed to get to classes, how??? Oh, I know, I am supposed to go for a jog! Yeah, that's it. That's what the doctor said. The one that met me once. I'm really trying not to stress but I am very nervous about it! Even if I'm able to get around, when I'm in a lot of pain I can't think! I'm really, really nervous.
Today I was supposed to go see the Office of Accessibilities on campus to set up a plan. Well...I never thought about it and they never mentioned it on the phone...but I need doctors notes to prove I have the disability. Grrr!
I'm so nervous!
My Journey With:
Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Hypermobility Type (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Complex Partial Epilepsy ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar I Rapid Cycling With Psychosis ~ Migraines ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (My OCD is currently in remission except for hoarding) ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Non-suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI or SI) ~ Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Multiple Phobias ~ Chronic Headaches