Emptiness

Each day I'm emptier and emptier inside.  Today if it wasn't for DH getting his feelings hurt I just would have stayed in bed all day.  I just don't see the use of getting up.  I mean, what for?  Why would I care to get out of bed?  I just want to lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, with my mind millions of miles away.  I want to be millions of miles away.  I don't want to be me, I don't want to live in a broken body with a mind in danger of breaking at any moment.  With so many people in the house the only way I've been able to cope is to "shut down" a part of myself.  I feel like more and more of me is shutting down without my asking.  I'm not even sure that's a bad thing.  I just want to cease to exist sometimes.  Each day the wind howls through my soul, yet it doesn't blow away the clouds of mist which shroud myself from even me