My fiance told me tonight that I've never been really angry. He's right. I haven't. I've never allowed myself to be really angry. Growing up it was "bad" to be too angry. Its a weird situation to be in. This last month was the 2 year anniversary of a traumatic event involving my family.
I've been reading a bit about complex PTSD and I think that may be the type of PTSD I have. I am going to ask my therapist what type I have. I had to go through my abuse for years and years.
So, back to the topic I started with at the beginning of this blog...will I ever be able to let my self be really angry? I honestly don't know. I don't know what people do when they are angry or how to feel really angry. I know some people punch pillows but no matter how mad I've been I never could bring myself to do anything violent, even if it was to a pillow.
What does being really angry feel like? What does an angry person do with that feeling?
Perhaps these are questions I will never know the answers to, I'm not even sure I want to.
I've been reading a bit about complex PTSD and I think that may be the type of PTSD I have. I am going to ask my therapist what type I have. I had to go through my abuse for years and years.
So, back to the topic I started with at the beginning of this blog...will I ever be able to let my self be really angry? I honestly don't know. I don't know what people do when they are angry or how to feel really angry. I know some people punch pillows but no matter how mad I've been I never could bring myself to do anything violent, even if it was to a pillow.
What does being really angry feel like? What does an angry person do with that feeling?
Perhaps these are questions I will never know the answers to, I'm not even sure I want to.