My Journey With:

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Focal Impaired Awareness Seizures (Complex Partial Seizures) ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar I Rapid Cycling With Psychosis ~ Migraines ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (My OCD is currently in remission except for hoarding) ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Non-suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI or SI) ~ Painful Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis (Autoimmune Hypothyroidism) ~ Irritable Bowel Syndrome ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Multiple Phobias ~ Chronic Headaches

Friday, May 4, 2012

Not a good start to the day

I didn't go to sleep last night, I just read free books on my Kindle for PC, which you can also download free.  It's a great way to read more books, but because it's so easy to get published there, the books you do read are hit and misses.  I'm reading one called When Women Were Warriors that is good so far.  Some of them are only eight pages.  Usually the really short ones (from what I've seen so far) haven't been edited.  Some are so full of errors it is impossible to follow the story line.  I downloaded a lot though, since it's free, so I'm sure I'll find a few gems, too.
I didn't go to sleep because I'm scared to sleep because of the nightmares I've been having.  I usually don't remember then afterwards, but keep waking myself up moaning from pain or yelling out from nightmares.  I even woke up screaming the day before yesterday during a nap.  I have no idea what I'm dreaming of, for the most part, but it was perfect timing that my therapist appointment was yesterday.  That is, if I went.  I realized at 2:00 am that I missed my appointment yesterday.  I really hope my therapist doesn't drop me for this, but I am afraid she might.  

Lately I've been clenching my jaw, especially when I sleep.  However, not only did I not get any sleep last night, but I also forgot my nighttime meds.  So not my jaw is in spasms, and every inch of my body is screaming in pain.  I feel like screaming myself, but I don't think I could open my jaw that wide.  My head is also killing me.  I feel like someone is tapping three ice pics into my head: one in my forehead and two above my eyes.  I have that "I stayed up all night and didn't take my meds" feeling, where I'm shaking, my muscles are in spasms, my stomach hurts, and to to it all off, I've had heartburn since yesterday afternoon.  My throat even hurts this morning from the acid of the heartburn.  

My morning is not starting out good.  The majority of the time, if I forget my nighttime meds, I flare.  As luck would have it, I'm definitely in a flare now.

Oh, today is May 4th.  So "may the 4th be with you."  Happy Star Wars Day.  ;-)

Wow, isn't this nice?  The motor just died in my laptop cooling pad, so now my computer will overheat.  Nice.



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