My Journey With:

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Focal Impaired Awareness Seizures (Complex Partial Seizures) ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar I Rapid Cycling With Psychosis ~ Migraines ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (My OCD is currently in remission except for hoarding) ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Non-suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI or SI) ~ Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Multiple Phobias ~ Chronic Headaches

Friday, March 22, 2013

Feelings hurt, in pain, no gas, & no money for meds

Where do I begin with this blog entry?  I guess I'll start with why my feelings are hurt.  I had a good friend with very good insurance insist that I should feel sorry for her because her co-pays are high at the pharmacy. The thing is, her parents pay her co-pays, and they always have enough money to do so.  She pointed out my low co-pays and acted like I was really lucky, when often a $1 or $3 co-pay is all my money or is more money than I have.  I have to pay my co-pays myself, and those "tiny" co-pays are a lot to me.  She knows all of this, so that's why it hurt my feelings so bad.  When she said it I actually cried, and I cried later that night, too.

Which brings me to another topic.  I'm out of one of my main medications, and even though the co-pay is under $3 I can't afford it, so that means I can't get it.  People who don't live in poverty don't seem to understand how much $3 can be if you just don't have it.  It might as well be $3 million dollars, because I just don't have it.

Which leads me to my next point.  We have no gas money to even get to the grocery store to buy food, though our food stamps came in today. It's 2:23 pm and I'm getting hungry.  Fortunately I have soda and another Powerade Zero in the fridge (not much else is in there!) so I can fill up on liquids.  There's been a lot of times in the past few years that I've had to go hungry, and the best thing I've found to keep hunger pains down is to drink lots and lots, to fill your belly with liquid.

Which brings me to my final point--pain.  I started off in pain, but then started feeling better.  Always one to overdo herself, I cleaned and now am under my heated blanket in lots of pain.  It's not a surprise that I overdo myself cleaning, I have been overdoing myself as long as I can remember.  I am happy, though, that I got something done.  Afterwards the pain was bad enough I ran to the bathroom, ready to be sick, and splashed ice cold water on my face over and over to keep from vomiting up my vitamins from the night before.

1 comment:

  1. Dear one, I know your pain. I'm a retired Welfare Case Manager ( over 31 yrs)...,now retired. I have EDS, POTS, etc & so did my identical twin,she passed away 2 yrs ago. Both of my adult children are disabled & on disability. My daughter has 1 child, & they both have are disabled & have much financial difficulties. It does seem so unfair when people have to face such hardships. I worry all the time what will happen to my children when I'm gone. I know your story is my children's story...yes, I can help them a little while I'm here on this earth,but this will not always be so. My daughter & granddaughter try to not ask for help,as I'm not wealthy...But hunger & not having ones medications are so important. Please know you are in my prayers...& bless you.

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