My Journey With:

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Focal Impaired Awareness Seizures (Complex Partial Seizures) ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar I Rapid Cycling With Psychosis ~ Migraines ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (My OCD is currently in remission except for hoarding) ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Non-suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI or SI) ~ Painful Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis (Autoimmune Hypothyroidism) ~ Irritable Bowel Syndrome ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Multiple Phobias ~ Chronic Headaches

Monday, March 31, 2014

In lots of pain, with loud asshole neighbors

From "FB You Know You Have EDS When"
My pain levels have been horrible the past two days!  I'm not at the level of a flare, but I was stuck in bed most of the day yesterday.  I'd wake up in pain, and all sweaty, and then I'd somehow fall asleep again, only to wake the same way again.  Today I've been lying on the couch, reading and napping.  Sometimes I'm at a loss, and wonder why my life is this way, what I have done wrong, so that I can fix it.  Unfortunately, there is no "fixing."  There's only surviving, or giving up.  I don't ever want to give up.  I've been in my wheelchair a lot this past week.  Our house isn't very handicap accessible, and my chair won't go everywhere.  Actually it only goes a few places.  It can't get all the way through the living room, and it can't get in any doorway, like the bathroom or the bedroom.  So I use my cane to try to make it the rest of the way, often DH helps me stand and lets me lean on him until I get to the bed, the couch, etc.

I was in extra pain lately anyway, but it really stepped up hard after a shower I took that left me so fatigued I couldn't even move a finger, or lift my head.  I've only been that fatigued a few times before.  Then that same night, when I was feeling better, I got dizzy and almost face planted into the glass top table.  After a moment of panic and leaning to my right side, I was able to miss it, but barely.  I barely missed falling on our elderly cat, Sterling.  I ended up hurting my wrists, but that was the extent of my injuries.  Then the next day (yesterday) the pain was incredible, and I was in bed all day.  Today I've only been off the couch three times, it hurts so bad to move.  Typing hurts, but I think writing helps get my mind off the pain.

Our car has been broken down for over a month; it's twenty years old and would cost more to fix than it's worth.  Still, we have to get it running again.  We can't afford car payments at this time, so getting another car is out of the question.  We are both really worried about it.

I love this sign!
Our neighbors are these drunken jerks who play their loud salsa music so loud it rattles the windows, and reverberates in my chest and jaw.  They play every single day.  On weekdays they usually start around 3:00 pm and go to 10:00 pm or 11:00 pm.  On weekends they start around 10:00 am and go until 3:00 am.  They are violent assholes, and everybody in the neighborhood is scared of them.  DH is the only one brave enough to walk up to their house and ask them nicely to please turn the music down.  Sometimes they pretend to turn it down a tad, then as soon as he is ten feet away, turn it up higher than before.  Other times they say "What music?"  Still other times they straight out threaten violence.  We can't call the police for a noise complaint, because the police wouldn't be here forever to protect us from their retaliation.  I even asked DH the other day if he thinks it would be prudent to move, but he said that we'd run into problems everywhere we lived.  It's not like we could afford to live in a nicer neighborhood than this, anyway.  It isn't a really bad neighborhood, but it isn't good either.  We get our car broken into on a regular basis, and things stolen off our front porch a lot.  Still, I've never run into this particular problem in my life.  Loud music is one thing, but this??

DH just got home, so I think I'm going to end.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!

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