My Journey With:

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Focal Impaired Awareness Seizures (Complex Partial Seizures) ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar I Rapid Cycling With Psychosis ~ Migraines ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (My OCD is currently in remission except for hoarding) ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Non-suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI or SI) ~ Painful Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis (Autoimmune Hypothyroidism) ~ Irritable Bowel Syndrome ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Multiple Phobias ~ Chronic Headaches

Monday, March 9, 2015

A thought

A sobering thought occurred to me last night and now I can't get it out of my head.  If I were to die tomorrow in a car accident or something, the only people in the world that would miss me are DH and my parents.  Maybe my sister, but only because my parents would miss me, otherwise I don't think she'd miss my existence any.  Unless DH told them "Amy died in an accident last night," no one would even notice, much less care.  Even if they did notice because DH told them, they still wouldn't care.  They might feel bad for DH, but really they wouldn't think about it beyond a conversation with him.  Before you ask, I'm not suicidal or anything, I'm just suddenly aware of how little my life affects others.  I think there was a time that quite a few people would notice I wasn't there, but not now.  I'm stuck home most of the time, I'm friends with people online and have many pen pals, but never get to see anyone in person except DH's friends.  How long would it take before no one could no longer even remember who I was?  Four days?  A week?  A week and two days at the most?  I'm not saying I hope I die in some freak accident, I actually want to be alive a very long time.  I only mean that no one would even notice or really care.  Everyone would just think I lost touch with them, and I'd be out of sight, out of mind.  This thought is both eye opening and very sad.

picture from Google images

1 comment:

  1. I know what you mean, I don't have any friends where I live. I have many online friends, a couple of goof IRL friends that live far away. My family also lives out of state. If I died would anyone come to the funeral?

    ReplyDelete

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