Serial killer? I think not.

Lately I've been watching "Dexter," which is a Showtime series about a man named Dexter who is a serial killer. He's a sociopath, but he only kills murderers.  He has no emotions, but knows how to fake them. He does form human attachments with only a few people in the world, like to his foster sister or foster dad. He works in the forensic department at the police station, so pretty much knows exactly how to avoid ever getting caught.  It made me think, if any one of us were born without emotions, including fear or guilt, plus you had the high chance of never getting caught, how would you turn out? More specifically, how would I turn out?  The medical term for a sociopath or a psychopath, is anti-social personality disorder.  Let me be clear, not everyone with anti-social personality disorder breaks the law, much less murders people.  What would I be like if I could get away with murder and felt no guilt?  Would I still be a disabled woman in a small town who doesn't break the law like I am now?  Would I be close to who I am now? Would I still want to be a mom? Would I become like Dexter in the show and turn into a serial killer?

 Would I turn into a bank robber, arsonist, or heroine dealer?  I would hope that even without guilt or fear, and knowing I have a good chance of not being caught, I'd still be me, not Dexter.  It's a question that's been weighing on my mind since the first episode I watched of "Dexter."  I know it doesn't matter whether I'd be the same or not, since I don't have anti-social personality disorder, but it's still a thought I can't seem to let go of.  I wouldn't have bipolar disorder anymore, having no emotions is the exact opposite of living with bipolar disorder where your emotions are too much, so that's another question to ponder.  Maybe I just think too much, and internalized the show a just a bit too much.