My Journey With:

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Focal Impaired Awareness Seizures (Complex Partial Seizures) ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar Disorder Type I ~ Migraines ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Non-suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI or SI) ~ Painful Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis (Autoimmune Hypothyroidism) ~ Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Multiple Phobias ~ Chronic Headaches

Thursday, March 31, 2016

World Bipolar Day

Today was World Bipolar Day, but because it's 1:03 am I technically missed it. However, I still want to talk about World Bipolar Day.

First of all, bipolar (aka manic depression) isn't just being moody, it's not being "sad," or being "hyper." It's so much more than that. I've gone into this before, and at the moment am not thinking clearly to write about the same thing again. Learn about the very basics from an infographic here. If you want to read about what it feels like to have bipolar, read about it here, or if you want to know what it feels like to get a bipolar disorder diagnosis, read this. If you think you may have bipolar, someone you know may have it, or you are looking for resources on bipolar disorder, try reading this.

I'm in the fifth month of a bipolar depressive episode. Today I finally got in to see my psychiatrist, and she added a mood stabilizer that has helped me in the past to my medication regimen. She added 1000 mg of Depakote in the evening. My biggest concern is the weight gain it can cause. I gained a lot of weight on it before, but I also lost over 100 lbs while still on it. My other concern is the tremors it used to give me returning. Around August 2008 I went off of Depakote after years of taking it. My tremors continued for months, and it took two to three years before they finally went away. Even now, when I get really upset, the face tremors come back, which is something I never had before Depakote. Depakote in the past has made me shake like crazy, including my face muscles. It got embarrassing when people would constantly assume I was scared and shaking in fear or something was terribly wrong with me and it was a medical emergency. One person even worriedly asked if I was scared of them. Each time you're on a medication the side effects can be different, though are often the same. I'm really hoping if the tremors come back they aren't as bad as they used to be.

I know this isn't a very long entry, but with this depression it's incredibly hard to think. It's like drowning in a sea of molasses. Just writing this much has taken a lot of courage and hard work. 

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