My Journey With:

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Focal Impaired Awareness (Complex Partial) Seizures ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar Disorder Type I Rapid Cycling ~ Migraines ~ Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD) ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Nonsuicidal Self-Injury (Self-Harm) ~ Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis ~ Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Specific Phobias ~ Chronic Headaches

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

I feel so stupid

Today, on Twitter, some people I follow but don't really know, were talking about how they were so glad they were not one of the "stupid people who only speak one language."  They were all from large, East Coast cities.  I feel like such a stupid country bumpkin right now.  I am learning Italian, but I'm still a beginner, I definitely would say I know Italian yet.  It's very slow going, because when I get depressed I don't study much, and my mind turns to mush.  I've been crying a lot; I've been really depressed today anyway.  I recognize that our school systems need to change and start efficiently teaching foreign languages at younger ages, rather than jokingly doing so in high school.  I took two years of Spanish in high school.  Most of what we did would be considered "arts and crafts."  We did things like make Day of the Dead puppets, hollowed out and decorated eggs, and made papier-mâché piñatas.  It was such a joke that some boys made theirs of a pair of huge boobs, and made a good grade on it.  The class was like a circus, and I was literally beaten up during class more than once, by the star (and very male) football player/wrestler.  Needless to say, the only thing I know how to say in Spanish is ¡Hola!, biblioteca (library), and garage (garage).  DH taught me lo siento (sorry) so when I bump into people in Wal-Mart who only speak Spanish I can be polite.  I'm always afraid to say it though, because I don't know if I'll sound racist by speaking Spanish to someone who may know English.  Then again, will I sound racist to say sorry in English when they may only speak Spanish?  I don't know what the right thing to do is.  Anyway, that's beside the point of this entry...

I feel pretty stupid, since I only speak one language already.  Since reading that on Twitter, I really feel stupid.  DH was fluent in thirteen languages before he had a severe head trauma that resulted in epilepsy.  Now he "only" knows five.

I don't want our child to be struggling to learn his or her second language in their thirties.  I don't want him or her to be as dumb as me, so at least half of the baby board books and children's books I've already collected are bilingual.  We've decided our child should at the least know Spanish and Arabic.  We plan on homeschooling, so teaching foreign languages will definitely be part of the curriculum.  DH doesn't know Arabic yet, but he picks up languages fast.  Of course, he picked up languages faster before his head injury.

I know eventually I'll get Italian down, and when I do, I someday want to learn German, too.  Since English is a Germanic language, and it would make my personal WWII studies easier and I'd able to study more in depth, I think German would be a good language to learn.  After all, I have the rest of my life to keep learning.  It's just that reading that conversation on Twitter really got to me.  I've been feeling depressed and stupid anyway lately, and I guess it was just the straw the broke the camel's back, in a way.  


  1. your not stupid!!! I know so many people that only know one langauge... considering what you have been going thru, i think u are an amazing amazing woman and i love u so much

  2. 1 language chic here also your not stupid :)


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