My Journey With:

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Focal Impaired Awareness (Complex Partial) Seizures ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar Disorder Type I Rapid Cycling ~ Migraines ~ Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD) ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Nonsuicidal Self-Injury (Self-Harm) ~ Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis ~ Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Specific Phobias ~ Chronic Headaches

Thursday, August 16, 2012

When will this flare end?

I'm in a flare, and have been for over a week.  The pain is so severe, I haven't had a flare this bad in a couple of years.  I spent the morning in so much pain I was crying and screaming with my hand over my mouth.  When things are like this it is really hard to keep going, but I know that I have to.  I try and always sound happy to thbe kitties, because they don't need to take on Mommy's feelings.  Katya has been taking care of me all day.  When I cry she climbs on top of me (ow!) or lays down next to me.  I'm in too much pain to lay down, and I'm in too much pain to sit down.  So I've been going back and forth.  About the time I can't stop crying hard from the pain, I'll switch to either sitting on the couch with a heating pad on my back, or laying down with a ton of pillows, whatever is the opposite of what I'm doing at that time.

Sick and in a flare
I've also got either strep throat or a throat virus, that I caught from DH (Darling Husband).  My sweetheart has been keeping me supplied in ginger tea, Pepsi Max (my addiction), sore throat drops, Aspirin, Tylenol, tissue for my nose (crying gives you a runny nose), and anything else I need.  I couldn't imagine going through this alone, I'm not sure how I went through that three month flare alone right before I met DH.  That flare was horrible, I was in too much pain to cook, and my TMJ was too horrible to chew anything, so I drank only one huge McDonald's strawberry shake each day.  I lost a lot of weight, but that isn't my ideal way to lose it.

As for this flare, there seems to be no end in sight, though I know it will eventually end.  I want a shower so bad, but I know if I took a shower tonight I'd be screaming when the water hit my skin.  I'm going to lay down in a few minutes, sitting up is starting to really hurt again. 

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