My Journey With:

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Focal Impaired Awareness (Complex Partial) Seizures ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar Disorder Type I Rapid Cycling With Psychotic Features ~ Migraines ~ Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD) ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Nonsuicidal Self-Injury (Self-Harm) ~ Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis ~ Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Specific Phobias ~ Chronic Daily Headache ~ High Cholesterol

Monday, January 1, 2018

2017 Year In Review

January

January 1st, 2017 was the start to a new year, and an end to 2016, which was a horrible year for us. The year of 2017 was just as bad, if not worse. For New Year's Dinner we had lamb and roast potatoes. It was the first time I'd ever eaten lamb. I liked it, but only ate about a third of it. It tastes better than beef, I understand why lamb is so popular around the world. I was still in a depressive episode that began in December 2015. My mom's dog Lady passed away. She was a beautiful, sweet, loveable Boston Terrier that was my mom's baby. Donald J. Trump was sworn in for President and Mike Pence was sworn in as Vice-President. The last two days of the month I was in a pain flare.

Me
Smirk

Lamb and roast potatoes
Lamb and roast potatoes


February

The first day of February was full of cramps and depression. I was still in the depressive episode in February. The second day of February was Imbolc, a religious holiday I celebrate. I had my first seizure of the year on February fifth. I had a POTS flare, and there was a lunar eclipse on the 10th and 11th. I had a five day pain flare, and there was a solar eclipse on the 26th. Daddy had a birthday and turned 63. Toward the end of the month I struggled with paranoia and psychosis.

Wearing a headband from my friend LP
Wearing a headband from my friend LP

A petal that fell off the Valentine's Day rose DH got me
A petal that fell off the Valentine's Day rose DH got me



March

My depressive episode was still sticking around in March. I started the first three days of the month in a pain flare. I had two more pain flares, and four POTS flares. It was a very rough month financially. The 30th was World Bipolar Day, and March was Self-Harm Awareness Month. Doing my adult coloring books and printouts I made of coloring book pages for anxiety relief on the days my hand pain wasn't too bad. I also celebrated Ostara.

In my favorite Woodstock tie-dye T-shirt
In my favorite Woodstock tie-dye T-shirt

Katya and Niki sleeping in a box
Katya and Niki sleeping in a box

April

April brought two pain flares and the end of that depressive episode. By the end of the month I started another depressive episode. Things got much worse financially. My OCD symptoms started coming back more. April was Sexual Assault Awareness Month. I celebrated Easter with chocolate.

Me. Hello!
Hello!

DH giving kisses to Katya behind my head
DH giving kisses to Katya behind my head


May

May first was both Beltane and International Workers' Day. I wore green glitter on Star Wars Day, May the 5th, for Carrie Fisher. I chose green because green is the color for both mental health awareness and bipolar awareness. May was Ehlers-Danlos syndromes Awareness Month and Mental Health Awareness Month. I was still in a depressive episode. I cried all day on Mother's Day because I was scared I'll never be a Mommy. The 12th of May was Fibromyalgia Awareness Day. I think it deserves a month long awareness campaign, not just one day a year. I ended the month starting a TMJ Dysfunction flare that lasted in to June, for a total of eleven days. I couldn't eat solid food and lived off of chocolate malt shakes because I couldn't chew and had a hard time getting enough calories without chewing. Stress was high because of our health and finances. OCD symptoms continue to appear here and there.

Wearing glitter for Carrie Fisher on May the 5th, Star Wars Day
Wearing glitter for Carrie Fisher on May the 5th, Star Wars Day

My red puppy dog scarf with pugs on it
My red puppy dog scarf with pugs on it


June

National Pen Pal Day was June 1st. I planned on sending cards to m pen pals, but I've been horrible lately, and haven't got many pen pal letters out in 2017. Of course, since my moods are massively out of control it makes it hard. I realize I get irresponsible when I'm having a bipolar episode. I turned 36 and within a month my hair went gray around my face. My birthday was on the one year anniversary of the shooting at Pulse. My birthday was also the World Day Against Child Labor and National Peanut Butter Cookie Day. I didn't get a peanut butter cookie on my birthday, though. I also got a new therapist, which is always a hard thing to do.

Just me
Just me

Niki and Katya cuddling
Niki and Katya cuddling


July

In mid-July my depressive episode ended. DH had a back injury helping a friend. I had a POTS flare and a pain flare. I continued seeing my therapist and I was starting to feel she might be someone I could trust. I decided that I could use a zebra hardcover notebook to keep therapy notes I take during therapy and home. It made it a lot easier to keep track of what I'm learning in therapy and how far I've come.

I remind myself everyday that I'm AL;VE
I remind myself every day that I'm AL;VE

Me
Me


August

In August we celebrated Lammas/Lughnasadh, a holiday in my religion that marks the beginning of the harvest season. I saw the Full Solar Eclipse on August 21st. I had two tonic-clonic seizures in my therapist's office late in the month. My cousin mailed me some of her homemade soap to try and I loved it. She is the only cousin I am in contact with.

Us
Us

Making faces after a shower
Making faces after a shower


September

I entered another depressive episode and started out the month of September very suicidal. I started talking to my best friend and chosen sister again, after not doing so for a long time. I was so happy to have her back in my life as she is my very best friend. Mid-September I came close to attempting suicide, scrawling on myself "Ashes Don't Have Debts." I had a horrid time with self-injury. I ended the month of September with an episode of psychoisis.

Pain and depression
Pain and depression

Pain and depression
Pain and depression


October

I began October with a TMJ flare. My bipolar psychosis was very bad most of the month. I got a mild cold, but recovered fairly quickly. Jim and I celebrated Samhain together on the 31st.

The view from my front porch
The view from my front porch

Halloween night
Halloween night


November

My depressive episode ended mid-November. I entered a mixed episode late November. I started exercising again. I saw my parents for Thanksgiving and had a seizure at the Thanksgiving table, which made me feel really guilty.

A Catholic Cathedral in mid-Missouri
A Catholic Cathedral in mid-Missouri

The Missouri State Capital Building in Jefferson City
The Missouri State Capital Building in Jefferson City


December

In mid-December my mixed episode ended, and I was able to celebrate Christmas without depression or mania. We changed cable companies, but we had already exchanged gifts with my parents at Thanksgiving, so it felt weird not having theirs to open on Christmas morning. I was happy with my present from Jim, a smart phone.



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