My Journey With:

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Focal Impaired Awareness Seizures (Complex Partial Seizures) ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar Disorder Type I ~ Migraines ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Non-suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI or SI) ~ Painful Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis (Autoimmune Hypothyroidism) ~ Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Multiple Phobias ~ Chronic Headaches

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Supplements, loss, and pushing through my pain limit

This year my new year's goal is to blog more often.  I have a set number of blogs in my head that I want to do; both for Survivor and Pagan Spoonie.  I received a full sample of a different brand of turmeric that I've been taking.  I am noticing a big difference in my pain levels, so I think it's not only working, but working well.  I'm out of my Vitamin D/Zinc/Magnesium/Calcium supplement, as well as my Vitamin C supplement.  I really hope we can afford them this month.  I've been out for a few months, and I notice a huge difference when I have them.  The doctor in St. Louis that diagnosed me with EDS said that I need to be on 1,000 to 3,000 mg of Vitamin C a day for collagen formation.  Vitamin D, Zinc, Magnesium, and Calcium are also supposed to help with collagen formation, the Magnesium helps my POTS a lot, too.

New Chapter Turmeric Force,
Picture via Amazon.com
It feels good to write again.  Last year was a pretty rough year, but we got through it in one piece, and I have a feeling that this year will be better than the last.  I didn't have anything to get DH on his birthday at the beginning of last December, but I still have it in mind and will be making it up as soon as I can.  I think he probably thinks that I've forgotten, but I haven't.  I know what I want to get him, and I keep imagining his face when he opens it.  I think it will be a happy one.

This New Year I can't help but think of all those I've lost in the past six or seven years.  I lost my Grandpa in 2008, my dog I grew up with passed a few of years ago at age 18, my Grandma passed a few years ago, Aunt Cecil passed in 2006, we lost Sterling in July of last year at age 16 1/2, Aunt Gloria passed a few years ago, and Uncle Bob passed a year ago in November.  Now my only family I care about, outside of DH and our kitties, are my parents and sister.  I'm not close to any of my other relatives, though when I was growing up I certainly was.  The thought of anything happening to my parents makes me want to throw up.  It seems impossible that my dad is almost 61, when did he get that old?  My mom is going to be 58 this year.  In my mind when I think of my dad he's in his late 30s or early 40s.  In my mind when I think of my mom she's in her mid to late 30s.  When I think of my sister I think of her when she was seven or eight, but she's actually 30.  I'm aware this makes no sense, since I'm 33 myself, and will be 34 this year, but that's just the way I think of my family.  The last time I saw her she was 23, my mom was 50, my dad was 53.  Okay, that's enough number talk.

I've baked something three times in December.  That may not sound like a lot, but I haven't baked much at all, as in once a year, for the past few years.  It hurt like hell, especially in my legs and back, but I was proud of myself to have finished it.  I've been pushing myself beyond my limits lately.  Sometimes that means the next two days I am in too much pain to get out of bed, but at least I got something done.  I find myself in tears in the evening from pain most nights, it's really hard to keep going sometimes.  I know so many of us spoonies feel that way, and I think we are all very brave, and very hard working to get through the day.  So, fellow spoonies, give yourself a pat on the back!

What are you proud of doing despite disability?

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