My Journey With:

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Focal Impaired Awareness (Complex Partial) Seizures ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar Disorder Type I Rapid Cycling With Psychotic Features ~ Migraines ~ Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD) ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Nonsuicidal Self-Injury (Self-Harm) ~ Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis ~ Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Specific Phobias ~ Chronic Daily Headache ~ High Cholesterol

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Slightly better today

I finally fell asleep last night around 4:30 AM.  I still have a bit of the electric currents in my skin, with a restless body.  It's driving me a bit insane.  I don't know what the problem is, either.  I mean, I haven't gone without any of my meds, so I'm not going through medication withdraw, which is kinda what it feels like.  I feel a bit stressed and insane over it.  At least the feeling isn't as strong as it was last night.

I plan today on writing at least three letters to my pen pals, and doing some time on my recumbent bike.  For anyone who doesn't know, a recumbent bike is just a stationary bike with the seat being more like a real seat with a back, and you put your legs out in front of you, rather than down from a small hard bike seat.  It's the kind they use in physical therapy.  I got used to doing it in physical therapy when I took it.

So today I plan on writing a pen pal in Michigan, one in Oz (Australia), and one or two in Italy.  The letter to Michigan should take the least time, so I may be able to get four letters done.  I hope so, my poor pen pals have waited long enough for my letters!  I feel bad that lately, actually the last two years, I've been so bad at getting letters back on time.  That used to never be a problem.  In the last two years I've been real depressed, had hands hurting, and have had my whole body hurting too bad to write.  I don't know what my excuse it on my few good days.  I just don't have one.  It isn't that I don't care, I care so, so much about my pen pals, and consider them true friends.  I don't know what my problem is.  Sometimes I want to kick my own ass.  After those four, I have two pen pals in Germany I need to write, and one in Singapore.

Australia (Oz)
Someday I'd like to learn German, and I'm learning Italian now.  I still can't believe how many people there are in this world that speak many languages, while most Americans only know one, or maybe two, in the case of immigrants and highly educated people.  Well, someday I know I'll be able to at least say I know Italian, even if it takes me 15 long years until I can write, read, speak, and hear it with understanding.

Skin like electrical currents, body restless and insane

I'm going nuts.  It's 3:30 a.m. and I'm up out of bed blogging.  My whole body seems to be going crazy.  My entire body is going through what I imagine people with restless legs syndrome go through with their legs every night.  But instead of just my legs feeling like I have to move, it's my entire body.  My skin feels like it has electric currents running through it.  My whole entire body keeps moving, from arms, to legs, to torso.  I've done stretches, but it didn't help any.  Right now I have a heating pad on my back in hopes it will both help with my pain and calm my nerves..  I took two Benadryl, so hopefully it will kick in soon.  Between the heating pad and the Benadryl, I will be able to lie down long enough to fall asleep.  I think I may be calming down a bit, and that the Benadryl is working.  I've tried meditation quite a few times, but I'm not in the daily practice of it anymore, so I wasn't able to do it as well.  Well, I'm going to try lying down now.  Wish me luck!

Monday, June 16, 2014

Getting older

I turned 33 on June the 12th. Thirty-three. I've been alive for 3.3 decades. Well over a quarter of a century. The 80s were a long time ago, longer ago than it seems possible. I have a tiny crease under my eyes, and since experiencing severe stress in the fall of 2007 until early 2008, I have dark circles under my eyes that never go away. The veins in my hands and feet have become more prominent, and my skin no longer has the glow of youth. I am forgetting stuff all the time, as I believe years of heavy psychotropic medications, along with medication for other medical problems, have affected my brain. That's not to mention the decrease in white and gray matter in my brain from fibromyalgia; white and gray matter abnormalities in the brain, also from fibromyalgia; and the shrinkage of my overall brain mass from my bipolar. The longer you have bipolar and fibromyalgia, the greater the shrinkage and decreased white and gray brain matter. Depressing. It's been 15 years since I graduated high school! I'm in shock. It won't be long until we celebrate the 100th anniversary of D-Day, VJ-Day, and V-E Day. Wow. I'm going to see the 2020s before long! It seems to have hit me in the last few days. My neck is no longer slim and beautifully sculpted. I'vie gained weight, and my collarbone isn't very visible anymore. I still like what I see in the mirror, but now it is now the face of a woman who has been through hell, not the youthful, bright face that I used see. Age is affecting how hard it is for me to lose weight, as well. Having an irregular diet contributes to it. Well, that's all I want to say now, but I have some information links below this paragraph that you might be interested in.

To learn more about the decrease in white and gray matter in the brain of a fibromyalgia patient, click here.

To learn more about white and gray matter abnormalities in the brain from fibromyalgia, click here.

To learn about shrinkage of overall brain mass from bipolar, click here.

To learn more about how antipsychotics cause brain shrinkage, click here. Antispychotics are typically used to control bipolar, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, and depresssion, among other things. They are widely prescribed for many conditions. Today it is most common to use the safer atypical antipsychotics, rather than older, more dangerous, antipsychotic medicines like Haldol (haloperidol). Examples of atypical antipsychotics are Zyprexa (olanzapine), Seroquel (quetiapine), Geodon (ziprasidone), Abilify (aripiprazole), Risperdol (risperidone), Latuda (lurasidone), Symbyax (olanzapine/fluoxetine), and Clozaril (clozapine).

Does anyone else know about any physical brain damage from fibromyalgia, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, PCOS, or mental illness? Feel free to comment if have information, and please leave a link to your source so I can check it out. It may end up having a blog entry dedicated to it., with giving you credit for some of the research, of course.


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