My Journey With:

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Focal Impaired Awareness (Complex Partial) Seizures ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar Disorder Type I Rapid Cycling With Psychotic Features ~ Migraines ~ Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD) ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Self-Harm ~ Bilateral Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis ~ Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Specific Phobias ~ Chronic Daily Headache ~ Eczema

Thursday, July 26, 2018

When The Lights Go Out

"When The Lights Go Out"

Inside there's a lump of charcoal
Throughout my bloodstream flow the ashy remains 
Of the fire that once burned within me
Dim lighting in a bright room
Enclosed in my beige-walled prison
My body traumatized by the attack of pain
My soul crumbles like dust
Thinking about hopes and dreams
Leaves me with a stack of bitter regrets
With the taste of rotted meat on my tongue
I'm tired of smiling and laughing
Like myself, pieces of glass are shattered

This poem in no way is meant to glorify mental illness. I've struggled with mental illness for my entire life. If you are struggling, please know there is help out there. For many people, mental illness is best managed with medication, therapy, and lifestyle changes, like getting the right amount of nutrients and exercise. Complementary medicine also helps some people. Complementary medicine can be aromatherapy, light therapy, acupuncture, reflexology, meditation, biofeedback, massage therapy, among many other treatments available to people who may benefit from them. Unfortunately, complementary medicine is rarely covered by insurance.

If you are in crisis, text the Crisis Text Line to talk to trained counselors about what's on your mind. text "HOME” to 741741. It's free, available 24/7, and confidential.

If you feel like suicide, please know that you are important. Chat online at

The National Suicide Prevention Hotline number is 1-800-273-8255 or go to

Call 1-800-656-4673 or live chat with RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) if you need to talk. Visit for a live chat.

I can vouch for the Text Crisis Text Line, as I've used it twice, and the RAINN chat online, as I've used it three times.

Suicide hotlines for other countries can be found here.

Saturday, July 7, 2018


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