My Journey With:

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Focal Impaired Awareness Seizures (Complex Partial Seizures) ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar I Rapid Cycling With Psychosis ~ Migraines ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (My OCD is currently in remission except for hoarding) ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Non-suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI or SI) ~ Painful Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis (Autoimmune Hypothyroidism) ~ Irritable Bowel Syndrome ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Multiple Phobias ~ Chronic Headaches

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Lack of Patience with Apathetic Bitches

“Lack of Patience with Apathetic Bitches”
Saturday, November 06, 2010
9:06 pm

Sometimes I know I’m just supposed to smile and take it when someone is an apathetic bitch but I’m angry.  I’m angry that my life has been ripped from me and into the arms of PAIN, who devours me, regurgitates me, and then devours me all over again each day.  I live in fear, so, so much fear.  Would life be worth living if the pain never gets better?  What is the point at which life is definitely not worth enduring any longer?  

God forbid someone in agonizing pain finds pain relief!

Two days ago I went with DH (Darling Husband) to the dentist.  He said he wanted me to go back with him in the room when he talks to the dentist to see what the dentist has planned.  It was a really bad pain day for me; when we were halfway down we had to pull over and DH put both my ankles back in.  So when we got there and the dental assistant led us back to the patient’s room I sat down one on the stools.  She said that one stool was for her and one was for the dentist.  Oops, okay.  I asked her if I could have a chair because DH wanted me with him while he talked to the doctor.  She said no.  By this time I was crying in pain from the short time I’d been standing.  I was hoping snot wouldn’t start running out of my nose when I pleaded again to have a chair.  Again she said no.  By this time the snot was running down my face while I wiped at it the best I could.  It was hard to do while wearing glasses and crouched over, grasping at my cane as if my life depended on it.   I asked her once more and for a third time she said no.  That time I’d explained about my ankles.  At this point she turns around without saying a word.  The dentist walks in a minute later and I beg him for a chair because Jim wanted me to be there just to hear what the dentist had planned for his teeth.  I don’t think DH said anything at all during this whole thing.  I felt really stupid by then, but dammit, DH told me he wanted me there and until he said different I just wanted to hear what the doctor has planned for his mouth.  At that point I burst into tears hard;l the pain was excruciating and I started making this bizarre hiccup noise when I tried to stop sobbing.  DH told me to go back to the waiting room; the dentist already said what I needed to hear anyway.  I felt so stupid.  I mean here I am demanding a chair to this apathetic bitch and I should have just stayed in the waiting room or in the car.  When I got back to the front the receptionist told me that I shouldn’t have walked back there if I couldn’t stand.  I was making my way slowly toward a seat in the waiting room and crying my eyes out from pain when she said this.  I couldn’t help but say “If she could have gotten me a chair that wouldn’t have been a problem.”  When I said that statement she got up and walked quickly away.  What is it with these people? 

That night DH told me (and I don’t blame him) that I need to be careful to not cause people to get mad at me and thus him when the doctor is going to have his hands in DH’s mouth.  I completely understand, but for some stupid reason I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and confused; not to mention guilty.  I’m going to stay in the car next time.  At least there I can lay the seat back and not have to face any apathetic bitches. 
Oh, and I thought I’d mention that 1) I really want to have a wheelchair for times like this, and 2) the dentist office is not wheelchair accessible at all. 

2 comments:

  1. Ok, this post really made me mad. FIRST of all, that woman who would not give her seat up is not just a bitch - she is a %*&* and I don't say that lightly. You should not feel embarrased, ashamed or guilty. You walked in there to help your husband. Quite frankly, as medical professionals, they should all be ashamed, embarrassed and guilty. Would they have treated you like that if you were deaf? or blind? Or is it that as pain patients we are the lowest on the totem pole.
    People like that will get it back one day, trust me. You cannot behave like that without a backlash from some higher power.
    Honestly, your husband should have had your back as well. You should be his first priority, not the dental staff. And if he is so worried about treatment b/c you were crying in pain and treated like a second class citizen - then maybe he should find a dentist that is not a despicible creature. I know that I feel more secure with a Dr. when they treat me like I am human.
    There is my rant.

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  2. Ohhh My dear Sister!!! I am in shock...pure shock! How dare them treat you this way...please rest assured that everyone will be given what is due to them in the end. They, and everyone that has wronged us, will be held acountable....

    I am so sorry you live in pain. Inshallah, I pray you find peace and comfort. My thoughts are with you and always hold your head up high. You have nothing to feel bad or ashamed about. What you asked for was not a difficult request. There are cold hearted people in this world. You just continue being you and if that means you need a chair, than damnit, you need a chair! I know you are not Muslim, but we are all Gods children. In Islam there is a Hadith that says something like this, for every ounce of pain you feel, a sin is forgiven. You take comfort in that. Love to you for the sake of God....hugs, hugs, hugs..

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