My Journey With:

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Focal Impaired Awareness Seizures (Complex Partial Seizures) ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar I Rapid Cycling With Psychosis ~ Migraines ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (My OCD is currently in remission except for hoarding) ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Non-suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI or SI) ~ Painful Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis (Autoimmune Hypothyroidism) ~ Irritable Bowel Syndrome ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Multiple Phobias ~ Chronic Headaches

Monday, March 8, 2010

The first warm day of 2010

Ahh, the first day you need air conditioning.  It takes me back to a time when things were simpler, well some things were simpler.  Today I am reminded of lazy summers filled with swimming at the river and jogging laps around our trailer.  I used to do a lot of crunches and lunges every afternoon, summer was the best time to exercise.  There is something renewing about summer sweat.  I can still smell the grass and dirt, when I used to play with Togy.  I'd play tug-of-war with him until we were both exhausted; then I'd lay in the cool grass while he'd lay next to me.  There is something about the first warm day that brings back a lot of good memories.  At the same time I remember the good things I do so in a wistful manner.  The times of waking up knowing that the day is mine for the taking is over.  Now I wake up with the knowledge that I'll be in pain today.  Some mornings I wake up hoping for a low pain day, while other mornings I wake up from pain.

I guess today I'm a bit depressed at what I used to have.  I know I should be thankful that my new fibro medicine, Lyrica, seems to be working, and most days I am very grateful.  That doesn't mean my pain is gone, though.  I have less bad days, two or three a week rather than six or seven a week; which I am thankful for.  Most likely I will feel better later today after a shower and my tramadol kicks in.

I am just slightly concerned about a lump in my neck that I've had for four years.  Doctors dismiss it but I think it's slowly growing and I wish someone would just look at it.  It's kind of annoying.

I do have an appointment with a new rheumy, one that comes highly recommended for EDS by a friend on Facebook.  I hope that goes well.  I would like to get custom braces.  That would be really nice.

I'm sure this mood will pass shortly, but right now...

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